


The Complete List of Quidditch Fouls [Original]

by MyrnaMaeve



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Lists, Quidditch, Quidditch Fouls, Rules
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-30 23:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyrnaMaeve/pseuds/MyrnaMaeve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was reading 'Quiditch Through The Ages'... and this happened.

Thou shall not set fire to an opponent's broom tail

Thou shall not set fire to an opponent's broom

Thou shall not set fire to an opponent's hair

Thou shall not set fire to the referee's hair

 

Thou shall not attack an opponent's broom with a club

Thou shall not attack an opponent with a club

Thou shall not attack the referee with a club

 

Thou shall not attack an opponent with an axe

Thou shall not attack the referee with an axe

 

Thou shall not Transfigure a Chaser into a polecat

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent into a polecat

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent's broom into a polecat

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee into a polecat

 

Thou shall not attempt to decapitate the Keeper with a broadsword

Thou shall not attempt to decapitate any player with a broadsword

Thou shall not attempt to decapitate the referee with a broadsword

 

Thou shall not attack the Bludgers with an axe

or a broadsword

or a giant hammer

or a watermelon

 

Thou shall not set fire to the Quaffle

or the goal posts

or the Bludgers

or the Beaters' bats

 

Thou shall not release a hundred blood-sucking vampire bats onto the Quidditch pitch

 

Thou shall not seize an opponent's broom tail to slow or hinder them

 

Thou shall not fly with the intent to collide with another player

 

Thou shall not lock broom handles with an opponent to steer them off course

 

Thou shall not hit the Bludgers at the crowd (Beaters only)

Thou shall not hit the Bludgers at the referee (Beaters only)

 

Thou shall not make excessive use of thy elbows towards thy opponents

 

Thou shall not stick any portion of thy anatomy through the goal hoop to punch the Quaffle out (Keeper only)

 

Thou shall not have thy hand still on the Quaffle as it goes through the goal hoop; Quaffle must be thrown (Chasers only)

 

Thou shall not touch or catch the Snitch if thou is not the Seeker

 

More than one Chaser shall not enter the scoring area at a time (Chasers only)

 

Thou shall not Confund the Seeker

or the Chasers

or the Beaters

or the Keeper

or the referee

 

Thous shall not Transfigure the Bludgers into arrows

or swords

or axes

or spears

or any sharp weapon that can seriously hurt people

 

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee into a vampire bat

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent into  vampire bat

 

Thou shall not curse an opponent's brrom stick to buck them off

 

Thou shall not set fire to the Quidditch pitch

 

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent into the opposite gender

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee into the opposite gender

 

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee's broom into a chicken

 

Thou shall not throw or hit a wasp's nest at an opponent

or the referee

or the crowd

 

Thou shall not Transfigure the Snitch into a toad

 

Thou shall not hex the Quaffle to shock the opposing team's Chasers whenever they touch it

 

Thou shall not cast  _Petrificus Totalus_ on an opponent

or the referee

 

Thou shall not smite the referee with lightning

Thou shall not smite an opponent with lightning

Thou shall not smite the Snitch with lightning

 

Thou shall not Transfigure the Bludgers into many marble-sized Bludgers

 

Thou shall not use the  _Accio_ spell to summon the Quaffle

or the Snitch

 

Thou shall not cast the Patronus charm to distract an opponent

or the referee

 

Thou shall not set a vampire on the referee

 

Thou shall not shoot the Seeker with a crossbow

Thou shall not shoot the Chasers with a crossbow

Thou shall not shoot the Beaters with a crossbow

Thou shall not shoot the Keeper with a crossbow

Thou shall not shoot the Quaffle with a crossbow

Thou shall not shoot the referee with a crossbow

 

Thou shall not throw a spear at an opponent

Thou shall not throw a spear at the referee

 

Thou shall not attack an opponent with a broadsword

or a rapier

or a giant hammer

or a watermelon

or a cannon

or a knife

or a mace

or a cutless

or any goddamn weapon

 

Thou shall not charm the Quaffle to bite the Chasers

 

Thou shall not hex the Bludgers to only target te opposing team

or a specific player

or the referee

or the crowd

 

Thou shall not set an angry wolverine on the referee

or the crowd

 

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent into an angry wolverine

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee into an angry wolverine

 

Thou shall not hex the Quaffle to act like a Bludger

or the Snitch

 

Thou shall not hex the Snitch to act like a Bludger

 

Thou shall not set a chimaera on the referee

Thou shall not set a manticore on the referee

 

Thou shall not cast the Leg-Locker Curse on an opponent

or the referee


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some more Quidditch fouls!

Thou shall not throw leprechaun gold into the air to distract thy opponents.

Thou shall not throw real gold into the air, either.

 

Thou shall not throw dragon dung at an opponent.

Thou shall not throw bat guano at an opponent.

Thou shall not throw mud at an opponent.

Thou shall not throw anything that looks like mud or dung at an opponent.

Or the referee.

 

Thou shall not replace an opponent's broom with a normal broom.

Thou shall not replace the referee's broom with a normal broom.

 

Thou shall not throw the Quaffle at the referee.

Or the crowd.

 

Thou shall not fly towards the crowd at high speeds then turn away at the last second.

Thou shall not fly towards the referee at high speeds then turn away at the last second.

 

Thou shall not attempt to stake an opponent.

Or the referee.

 

Thou shall not throw sand at an opponent's face.

Thou shall not throw sand at the referee's face.

 

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent's broom into a pitchfork.

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee's broom into a pitchfork.

 

Thou shall not turn the Quidditch pitch into a swamp.

Or a desert.

Or a frozen wasteland.

Or a lake.

Or anything that is not an ordinary Quidditch pitch.

 

Thou shall not scream "DRAGON!" in an attempt to distract or scare an opponent.

Or the referee.

Or the crowd.

 

Thou shall not throw pixie dust into the opposing teams face when celebrating thy victory.

 

Thou shall not release a horde of Cornish Pixies onto the Quidditch pitch.

 

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent's broom into a python.

Thou shall not Transfigure the referee's broom into a python.

 

Thou shalt not have sex with an opponent on the Quidditch Pitch. (Submitted by Velociraptor)

Thou shalt not have sex with the referee on the Quidditch PItch.

Thou shalt not have sex with anyone on the Quidditch Pitch.

 

Thou shalt not summon Muggles to the pitch. (Submitted by cryptologicalMystic)

  
Thou shalt not summon flesh-eating... things to the pitch. (Submitted by cryptologicalMystic)

  
Thou shalt not scream like a banshee to distract your opponents. (Does not apply if you are actually a banshee)(Submitted by cryptologicalMystic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll write more when I get more ideas. OR, alternatively, people could submit ideas for this list of rules. There are supposed to be, like, 400 of 'em. I've come up with a 100+ and taken the ones in "Quidditch Through the Ages" and put them in, since those are canon. And a friend gave me a couple ideas. Anyone else want to help with this project? Please?
> 
> EDIT: I have been told there are actually 704 Quidditch Fouls. Thank you to Drakey for the info!  
> EDIT 2: One of the rules from this chapter is being moved to the next chapter for reasons that will be obvious in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I haven't updated this in a while! This is a bit of a short one, I will admit.

Thou shalt not use a Sticking Charm to stick anyone to their broom. (submitted by batterwitch_dumb_basses)

Thou shalt not use a Sticking Charm to stick anyone or anything to the Quaffle.

Thou shalt not use a Sticking Charm to stick anyone or anything to the Bludgers.

Thou shalt not use a Sticking Charm to stick anyone or anything to the Snitch.

Thou shalt not use a Sticking Charm to stick anyone to anything

or to anyone else.

Thou shalt not use a Sticking Charm to stick anything to a broom

or the goalposts

or the ground

or the stands

or the audience.

 

Thou shalt not enchant croquet balls to fly around the Quidditch pitch. (submitted by batterwitch_dumb_basses)

Thou shalt not enchant rocks to fly around the Quidditch pitch

Thou shalt not enchant weapons to fly around the Quidditch pitch

Thou shalt not enchant ANYTHING other than a Snitch or a Bludger to fly around the Quidditch pitch

 

Thou shalt not release an extra Snitch

Thou shalt not release extra Bludgers

 

Thou shall not Transfigure an opponent into a bunny of the large and angry kind (submitted by 11)

or ANY kind, for that matter.

 

Thou shall no set a dragon on the referee (submitted by 11)

or the players (submitted by 11)

or the crowd (submitted by 11)

or thyself (submitted by 11)

 

Thou shall not bring a hummingbird and place said hummingbird in an opponent's robe. (submitted by 11)

 

Thou shall not replace the Golden Snitch with a Golden Snidget. (submitted by 11)

That's illegal.

Thou shalt not replace the Golden Snitch with anything, for that matter

 

Thou shall not intentionally destroy the pitch in any form. (submitted by 11)

Thou shalt not intentionally destroy the stands in any form.


	4. ANNOUNCEMENT

Hey guys!

I recently got a huge dose of inspiration for this, and wanted to continue. As I was writing, however, I got to thinking. I wanted to make things more organized, give things more formatting, make it look better, maybe separate the different stuff into section. But I didn't want to delete any of the chapters I already have made, because I'm not sure how that would affect the comments section, and several people have left suggestions and ideas of their own. However, I still want to make this story look better.

As such, this version of "The Complete List of Quidditch Fouls" is going to be abandoned (though not deleted), and a newer, more polished version will be taking its place. I have big plans for it, and hope you all will enjoy that version as much as you have this one. And if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for the list, I certainly won't say no to hearing them, and credit will be given where credit is due.

I plan to have the first chapter up sometime in the next few days, possibly sooner. It's just going to be a foreword/introduction sort of thing, but it should definitely give a clear idea of the direction I've decided to take for this.

That's... pretty much all I've got to say, I guess. Thanks for reading this silly list, and I hope you read the new one! I'll put a link to it here once the first chapter is up.

\-- Myrna Maeve

 

EDIT: The first chapter of the new version is up! It can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344778/chapters/28076535). 


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